Today was the release party! First I signed lots of documents/release forms and discussed Eva's proper care with the director, the caregivers, and her doctor. They are surprised that I chose to take her to the hotel with me. I got lots of well wishes and more advice. A couple of years ago Daniel and I learned a very good nugget of information: as a young married couple and someday parents, you will get a lot of unsolicited advice...Just smile and say "thank you."
That's what I did. Daniel, you would be proud.
Eva was distracted for the photo but cried on and off during this dressing marathon.
But it was worth it all, no? Check out the complete look! Is anyone else having vivid recall of a Christmas Story? I love it! That's most likely the tackiest (but my all time Favorite) Christmas movie ever. And I just thought I wouldn't be able to enjoy it remotely this year:)
Then I whisked Eva away. I think it would be more accurate to say that she and I bobbled away. It felt like an anticlimactic jail break. Like maybe the negotiated release of a political prisoner. Onlookers tisked tisked. My knees were weak. We bobbled right on out of there, slow steady-stepped to the car, and granny shuffled up the stairs to the hotel.
Eva did so well. Again. She and I had a sleep over and vegged out all afternoon. I think that's how you spell vegged. I have problems spelling produce names. I always try greatfruit only to be autocorrected grapefruit. It's counter-intuitive.
We definitely watched about half of BBC's Pride and Prejudice. Our facilitator ordered a space heater for our room, which has been very nice. I've been sleeping in layers it's been so cold in my room. This fancy space heater is like a bonfire. It even crackles occasionally.
Eva is now asleep after Pride and Prejudicing instead of napping. It's 6 pm. She did pout herself to sleep. Oh my how that girl fights sleep. But now she's sprawled happily across the bed and likely sweating profusely.
I'm not sure that I know how to explain the emotional part of this. Objective is easy, but the subjective parts are so much harder.
I know that as a therapist I am seeing some typical institutionalized behaviors, especially to self-soothe when she tries to sleep. Still the rocking and mouthing.
I know that she ate well and drank well in our little room today.
I know that the second time I changed her diaper today she cried much less than the first.
I know that I will not reattempt an outer ear wiping until we're home and settled.
I know that she and I made gaga faces at each other and had great giggles this afternoon.
I know that as I carried Eva out of the orphanage, snow fell softly-another gift-and I thanked God aloud.
I know that I never did anything to deserve such a blessing as this.
I know that God is a gentle teacher, and I'm slowly learning about grace.
Labels: adoption, blessing, eva, gift, institutionalized, jail break