This last week I can only describe as floating by...the week as well as myself. I talked to Daniel about it, and he's felt the same way. It's not exactly a feeling of levity-this is heavy stuff we'll be dealing with. I think it's this aloofness and preoccupation with what's about to come that so overwhelming it's hard to get your feet on the ground. We can both be a million miles away at any moment.
I'm pretty sure this is part of the emotional package that comes with this now 11 month crusade.
However, in the midst of this, I've gotten these really strong momma emotions. I don't know how else to explain it. Sudden, sharp feelings of a deep stirring love for this little girl who doesn't know us.
Adoption is crazy. It reminds me of hearing someone describe marriage as a good and beautiful thing, but that at its core, it's so simple and yet so complex that it's hard to do well. It maybe wasn't designed to be easy. Adoption has felt much the same and we don't even have her home yet.
20 hours after sitting at the XNA airport saying goodbye to Amanda, who graciously helped us load up and unload in some cold rain, Daniel and I are here. Eastern Europe. It was a long trip and parts were tough. We had 50 mph shearing winds on our flight to the Windy City. I cried silently and squeezed a handprint into Daniel's hand. We landed wobbly and topsy turvy, but all in one piece.
Immediately upon arrival, we were greeted by our facilitator, her husband, and our driver. It's so, so good to see them again! And so soon!
We arrived at our apartment and are settling. I need to take pics for the full effect here.
Daniel and I both have cankles. Neither of us slept well. We're missing the blow dryer bag. It's about 7:30 pm here. One of our neighbors is moving furniture or wrestling and the other is nailing something to the wall. Daniel's trying to sleep and I'm trying to collect my thoughts.
Adoption is a weird situation and uncomfortable in several ways.
Adoption is an amazing and beautiful change in our lives. I think adoption has become a way of life for us now.
It's a million things. It's exciting.
I don't want to forget what it's like so I'm sharing it all as it comes along.
Daniel snagged a few pics today (or maybe it was yesterday?)